Today’s study is going to be especially eye opening spiritually in dealing with “blame…” in a way that we may not have considered before – thank You Lord. I titled the broadcast “Afflicted With Blame” because in almost every email I get, people are blaming themselves rather than walking in freedom through Jesus. Also, it seems all the inhabitants of the World are blaming one another for something at the moment. So this study is relevant and timely and dedicated to all of us who are or have been… afflicted with blame.
- Birthday Blessings
- People in Florida affected by the tragedy of loss
- Honor Wayne & Rikki
What prompted this study was the many females in abusive or neglectful relationships who were coming to me saying, “its okay, I feel I deserve to be treated this way…” Which truly was like a thorn piercing my heart. I then began to study entering into the Promised Land spiritually speaking – the fullness of freedom where you are complete and whole in Jesus, content in plenty and want, loving others and loving yourself so that you actually do, let go and let God. When you reside in the Promised Land – you have peace which surpasses all understanding because you surrender to the Lord on High, where you are infused with His Sovereignty.
Few enter into this place of 24-7 Sabbath rest in Jesus – not because you aren’t invited, but rather because we tend to cling to things in this life, both past and present, like residing in a prison with bars – forgetting the Lord loves to work all things together that we have done or others have done to us, together for our good, according to His perfect plan and glory so that we have life and life more abundantly focused on HIM.
We each, by freewill, play a huge role in entering into this secret place of calm in the midst of the storms of this life on Earth, by making ourselves ready to be in a receiving position for all our Lord Jesus has to offer us. We must be of a mindset that we are willing and joyful to give up everything we hold dear just to have one source of life – Jesus. It is not as much if we will lose these people and things – but rather…. Are we willing to do so to follow Him?
You may be wondering what entering the Promised Land has to do with the affliction of blame. In order to understand how they connect, we need to go all the way back to the Garden of Eden, to right after the fall and see how the curse placed upon humanity is one we carry within ourselves, until our old nature is purged and we become victorious in Jesus and overcome… being afflicted with blame.
Blame has a counterpart – named shame. Shame says… all that happened to me I deserved. And the worst part of it is – many of us blame ourselves for actually enticing others to harm and sin against us. Now hopefully that part perked up your ears a little bit. Shame is the clothing we wear when we are afflicted with blame. It is a garment our souls surround themselves with in place of humility. Shame appears as false humility…. Help us Lord, to be as the royal children we are purposed to be and get out of the valley of decision on whether to follow You or not in fullness.
I mentioned the ladies who blame themselves, but we have many men who do the same thing. We have been beaten as children, sexually abused, verbally assaulted, abandoned, betrayed, cheated on, unloved and mistreated, all at the hands of others. So if we believe we deserve it – we do not walk in the liberty that Jesus makes all things new and we crucify Him daily – yikes, I don’t want to do that anymore, do you?
To walk in the freedom of Christ Jesus means to be free from all bondage – yes, I said all. So here is how we embrace the curse over freedom…. We transfer the blame – because someone has to be at fault somewhere, somehow and to give placement to fault – believing it has to land somewhere – so we put all that blame on self. The curse is: blame itself. Where can it land, let me seek someone to be the scapegoat of blame and false humility comes in when we blame ourselves. We may not be the accuser of the brethren – but we are masters at accusing ourselves. So the invitation to freedom this day is: lets just lay all blame, yes all of it, at the foot of the cross where Jesus overcame all curses and not pick it up again, so we walk in freedom as a new creature in Christ Jesus.
The reason this so easily ensnares us is we get into mindful patterns of thinking that go against life in the shedding of innocent blood. We do not see Jesus as Savior, but believe we must be the ultimate sacrifice in order to attain Salvation by our own works. Our thinking is: I am going to hang myself on the cross before someone else hangs me on it again. Like I said, these mental patterns are always wanting to hang someone. Many hang others, but we who feel unworthy of love – hang only ourselves. We sure may not curse another, but are very skilled at cursing ourselves and the truth is – ourselves are the only ones we have power to curse.
Let’s get into the Word and go all the way back to the beginning of it all and since the warning in my spirit about the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil still persists, I will read the whole chapter and then we can talk a bit.
Genesis 3 –
Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
Notice how he enticed her by asking a question to provoke her in the mind and engage her
2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:
Eve by nature felt as if she had to answer him – we as females often feel like we have to answer someone – but we really do not, that is of the flesh nature – sometimes no answer to another is the Lord’s direction for us
3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
There were 2 trees in the garden – the tree of life (Jesus) and the tree of knowledge of good and evil (mixture)
Because the tree of knowledge of good and evil contained awareness of evil – it was actually a tree of death – they were not to entertain it in anyway, knowing evil always brings death by thought and/or being entwined within it
4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:
Again, the enemy was stirring up questions within Eve’s mind – he knew of evil and also knew that it would not bring physical death but rather spiritual death – just like partaking of evil things do to us if we seek knowledge about it
5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
Now he was feeding her ego – she started to think our Creator God was hiding something from her and her curiosity to be like a god, knowing good from evil was the driving force behind her receiving knowledge directly from evil himself
6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
It was at this point Eve stopped walking in obedience, enforcing her own freewill by choosing to listen to the seductive serpent’s voice over the voice of the Lord and why??? Her heart changed from desiring that which was good to the soul to that which was good to the lusts of the eye of pleasant things – she desired to be wise over being innocent – the wisdom which comes from knowing about evil was the exchange she gained by losing her innocence.
She also convinced her husband Adam to eat of this fruit, which he did by his own will – which is not surprising really, they were one flesh and rather than covering and supporting one another to be obedient to their Father, they fell together
7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.
When we lose our innocence nakedness is shameful and our immediate response is to cover our sin. Do you realize when no dirty things are present nakedness is beautiful and not tainted? It is not that nakedness is sinful, it is the thoughts, desires and lust which empowers impurities that overshadow that which the Father of lights intended for His good pleasure. Without lust present, sexual encounters would be just as He designed – but that’s a whole other story.
8 And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.
No matter how old we are – even as a young baby we have within our old creature to hide when we do wrong and that remains until the day we leave this Earth. When the Father formed us, He blew the breath of life into us and we have an internal radar called our conscience and as long as it isn’t seared with a hot iron – we will always know when we are in rebellion, always. We may deny it, but it is there to remind us and keep us in a constant state of repentance. An un-seared conscience is similar to a lifeline band and cord which keeps us aligned to the Creator – the umbilical cord is you will.
Un-confessed Sin ALWAYS separates from the Lord. Un-confessed sin sears our conscience, keeping us as children of rebellion. A child of God may fall into sin, but they do not stay there. We know all have fallen short of the glory of God, but a child of God will have a constant desire to be back into His good graces and to be pleasing in His sight – the Bible calls us, children of obedience. The point is not so much do we fall, but rather our response when we fall. Do we hide or do we run to Him?
9 And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?
Now obviously God knew where Adam was, He only asked because Adam did not know where he was… He was pointing out to Adam that he had fallen at that moment.
10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.
So sin not only separates us from God, it makes us afraid of Him – let that sink in a moment… Because people often say the Father is mad at us when we sin… That is a piece to us making ourselves like gods in our wrong thinking. Sin separates us from God and when we are separated from Him our thinking is way off from this respect, so that in our guilty nature we deflect our own sinful way back onto the Lord.
11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou should not eat?
Now obviously the Father knew Adam had been disobedient – He knew that way before it even happened – one thing, did you notice He knew ahead of time, but did not prevent the fall? I point that out because we are always trying to prevent others from falling, rather than letting them too learn the lesson of how sin enters in so that they learn the beauty of a Savior.
I just love how the Father prompts a confession out of Adam by using questions, rather than accusations in order to stir up repentance within Adam – Jesus often did this as well. Asking reflective questions helps us to see our shortcomings, confess our faults and be cleaned to go and sin no more in that area. We do have a part to play in Salvation – admission of guilt is the first step by the way.
SO NEXT COMES THE IMPORTANT PART TO OUR LESSON FOR TODAY…
They both fell and ran and hid – and when the Father came to them… we are going to read their first and natural response –
12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.
13 And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.
Again – they disobeyed, they covered themselves and hid from the Lord and then… ADAM BLAMED EVE AND EVE BLAMED THE SERPENT. And here we just witnessed the first – accusing of the brethren.
14 And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:
15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
This is just so complex and way more than we have time to go into today – but we have woven into our beings a supernatural enmity with the manifestations of the enemy in order to resist him and every single thing he touches. The seed within us is faith in Jesus – as it grows and we become more conformed to Him, we shall be a constant irritant to the enemy.
16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Ladies ever wonder why you desire a man and are never fulfilled? This is why… it is an unattainable desire that can only have placement in Jesus for complete fulfillment.
17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;
18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;
19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
20 And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.
21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them.
Covered in flesh by the Lord on High
22 And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:
And here is the remnant of freewill that comes with walking in the flesh – losing innocence and becoming one now who knows good and evil UNLESS… we seek and receive from the Tree of Life (Jesus) in order to live forever.
23 Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.
24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.
Okay – well that’s that… I only read this last portion to remind us we have a choice whether to only seek sustenance for our souls from the Tree of Life or to continue on partaking of mixture about good and evil. We will not live forever eternally if we keep rebelling and not choose life.
But today’s topic is blame… And these erratic mindsets we tend to lean towards. And most of you listening to me today – have overcome blaming others, but have switched it back to blaming yourself.
I remember from the time the abandonment came from my dad (which I was told and thought was my fault) to right after being sexually molested by the neighbor guy (I thought at 5 I had caused this to happen in some way) – I lived a full life of over 30 years blaming myself for all the bad things that had happened to me. It was not until Shelby was 5 that I realized this little girl could not stir up sexual lust within a man. It was like I had to see myself in her at that young age to realize, I once was innocent too and did nothing wrong or enticing to stir up sexual lusts, unaware of what that even was. And nothing is more irritating to me than to hear someone minimize what happened to me only because the Lord did not require them to walk through it themselves. At the very least they either severely lack compassion or they know good and evil by their own familiar ways and have preyed upon another in a similar way, so they have more mercy for the perpetrator than the victim.
This is how blame forms our lives most often – from the garden, blame has to land somewhere, rather than people taking ownership for their own hurtful actions and wrongdoings – they blame the weaker vessel for their overpowering acts. I see it all the time now, in my own life and life of others.
The perpetrator blames the innocent and the innocent receives the blame as the scapegoat to carry the sin committed. Some will even keep you around just for that task – to have someone to carry the guilt for the sins they commit. And we as victims will take that shame and blame upon ourselves like we deserve this mistreatment and nothing could be farther from the truth.
Instead, and for some of us from birth, the Lord has used us to draw out from within others their darkened shortcomings. I want to call us “revealers” as we in the light, expose and reveal the darkness within others without trying to or meaning to – it just happens.
It broke my heart a couple weeks ago when Beautiful Bea shared that she deserved all she got in being caught in harm’s way. I saw at the moment how inflicted she and many of us had become one with blame. Then the Lord started to remind me how He defeated all blame at the cross – us blaming others, of course – but especially ourselves. Only Jesus can carry the burden of sin of another person – that is not our job – so we are fully released as saviors in anyone’s world.
Now – the release is for the offering, but will we receive fully all the Lord has done for us? Please hear me on this – We should most certainly make amends to be at peace with all whenever possible and a huge part of that is owning it when we’ve hurt someone, even inadvertently. But, those feelings of guilt and shame which transfer to blaming ourselves for the times we were naïve and blindsided by the pain inflicted upon us by another – needs to be fully released in that Jesus may come into us in fullness, making us whole and complete – no longer fragmented in the soul.
People often speak about letting others off the hook – well today is the day the Lord has made for us to let ourselves off the hook, in order we be sober in the mind and the blame curse and all the afflictions which follow are broken – so we actually do become a new creature in Christ.
Many of us need to forgive ourselves for the hurtful and wrong things done to us, especially when we’ve put ourselves into compromising positions naively to be mistreated and taken advantage of. It was not your fault… Jesus prayed Father forgive them, they know not what they do – Can you forgive yourself? Because He already has… It is a full release – you are no longer that person. You’ve gleaned wisdom, mercy, compassion, discernment, forgiveness, love and many other attributes during this process – because that is just how our Lord works – He lets no weapon prosper in our lives that has been formed against us – it may sting a little, but it will not prosper, in other words – multiply and overtake our lives – unless we refuse to accept the fullness of the cross – which cancels all blame, directed not just towards others but ourselves, as well.
I know, I know… Many of you desire closure with some of the people who have hurt you in the past – it is the closure you are hanging onto, not the person. Please let that sink in. The truth is – we may always get that closure we are seeking. Not everyone is willing to have you placed before them as a mirror to the harm they, themselves have caused, in which you are a constant reminder of their shortcomings. Their ego will not let them embrace the truth of themselves. So they go around deflecting the blame upon you. I experience this almost every single day, so I get it. It wasn’t until recently that the Lord showed me the way to His full release, which I am sharing with you all today. I now refuse to accept their blame upon me. I understand that no, it is not okay to deflect your harm upon me like I was the cause to bring of you what was in you. I realize now that the Lord may have used me, but He is my way out of the shame and blame so it no longer prospers in my life.
To let go and let God deal with all those who’ve harmed us, to never seek vengeance, even upon ourselves is totally a walk of freedom, so that God’s love may flow again.
Moses missed entering into the promised land – but that should not be the case with us. In the promised land we give answer to no one but the Lord, it is life and life abundantly in being one with Him. In the promised land, Jesus alone sits on the throne of our hearts.
Okay… So applying what we learned – I really need the Lord Jesus to help me share this beautiful pearl He gave me with each one of you today – for clarity and release so that you have wisdom and understanding which is applicable in your daily lives, to ease the burden of frustration, rejection and simply seeking fulfillment from empty wells. Help me Lord to help those listening so they walk free in Your perfect love.
With the Lord’s help I am going to try to pull all this together that we have been studying regarding the purity of love because oftentimes we get in this mindset that bad love is better than no love at all. Many times we’ve discussed the woman at the well, who was thirsty for love and was found wanting so many times before she stopped drinking from wells outside of Jesus. We’ve discussed Mary Magdalene who shared in intimate love with Jesus, as an exchange of love – where He actually received love back from her – as well as John, who was near and dear to Jesus’s heart, as another example of love exchanged. We learned how many followed Jesus because HE FED THEM, not out of the partaking of love together with Him. We studied how we are to guard our heart continually, knowing it is out of the heart issues flow forth – so with all that being said, the Lord showed me something beautiful the other day, which broke within me a desire to please, helping me to stop trying to force love from those who are simply not capable to love me like Jesus and to also be grateful for those He did place in my life who I not only pour love into, but there is an exchange of love, back and forth – we share in the purity of Jesus’s love one to another.
If we are honest, we will realize there are many empty wells out there we have tried to siphon love from, only to be left wanting and in hopelessness. I am going to call those people the ones we are to pour Jesus’s love into continually. We do not receive or rather drink from them, while at the same time we continually love on them in a most precious way, no matter what happens – our love towards them never fails to exist because it is Jesus’s love and it remains continually.
Then there are those who we exchange love with – we are not guarded and are safe to both give and receive, it is not one taking all the time and it is not one giving all the time – love just flows, is constant and precious.
The problem is – we have been looking for that pure love in vessels who do not have a desire for an exchange of love, but are looking to only receive from us. I know, that hurts, doesn’t it? Because it could be a spouse, parent, child – or someone else very near and dear to our hearts that we never stop pouring into – which is good, however, disappointment comes when we expect an exchange – to receive and it never comes. This is why hope deferred makes the heart sick – we are simply expecting someone to give something to us that does not reside within them, not yet anyway.
Here comes the freedom part… First off and most important – LOVE EVERYONE, giving love away is limitless because Jesus is love and He is our source of love – it is never-ending. But with that… we must be very wise and gentle about who we let love us. I hope you can hear what I am saying… We do not reject or abandon anyone, but for many our expectations of what they give back need to be extremely low or nothing in most cases.
We also may have someone who has touched our hearts and then they betray us time and again – we’ve tried speaking to them in order to share in peace and yet, they are resistant to reconciliation… After prayer and seeking Jesus, it is okay to move that person – by guarding your heart, from the sharing position in your life to the outpouring position in your life, at the leading of the Holy Spirit. By doing so, you protect yourself from bitterness, you place a seal of preservation over the relationship so love remains and you no longer have any unmet needs – because you realize that person no longer has a heart to be one with you in a sharing of love.
Now stay with me… Jesus used Peter as an example to this truth by asking Him three times if he loved Him, only to tell Peter later that he will deny Jesus before the rooster crows and it happened. Jesus loved Peter dearly and Peter even thought he loved Jesus – however, he was not committed to that deeper sharing of love that goes the distance, that cherishes, is set on nourishing and fostering the intimacy of exchanging love.
All of us have had strained relationships throughout our whole lives, no doubt. The Lord on high does not require us to be abused, mistreated and held captive by faulty love – or rather drinking from other wells… loving those who persecute and harm us is just that – loving them, laying your life down for them… But it has nothing to do with receiving love from them. Like I said, this is why we get very frustrated at times and what the Lord showed me is that He is opening our eyes to see in truth all the empty wells we’ve been drinking from in order to release us in fullness of desiring that “dry well.” Praise the Lord!
With Jesus as our living water where we thirst no more, no more looking for love in all the wrong places – we have a deep exchange of love with Him, in the secret place. But in addition to that is the brethren, those in our lives who are pouring love continually into us on a regular basis – not to take from us, but who’s love is genuine and pure and very, very rare. And sometimes, we have no one at the moment who loves us like Jesus and He is our only source. Then other times He will sprinkle in love vessels, when we need it the most to come along beside us IN WORD AND ACTION, to comfort and assist us on this life’s journey. These are our friends and what a blessing they are… Our hearts are safe in their gentle hands through the partaking of love.
They demonstrate love – not all talk, but are sincere and are there for us, no matter what – on our good days and bad days, in struggles and celebrations – when we stumble, they lift us up and when we mourn, they mourn with us and when we have something good happen, they rejoice with us… they share in our lives just as we do theirs, in all the same ways. These people love us enough to tell us the truth and we love them enough to hear it.
So here we are, time to get alone with Jesus and do some real soul searching in prayer and ask Him to help us see with purpose all the intimate people in our lives and their placement within our hearts. Ask Him to show you if you are expecting love returned from an empty vessel and if so, give Him that burden and lay that person at His feet – not expecting to receive any love back, but only give it. Once I started doing this recently – I found my list of giving was almost endless, but my list of who I am to receive from was extremely short – very short as a matter of fact. As the Lord began pointing people out to me, I began removing them from the position of intimacy to the position of pouring into and as I did so – it was like He touched my heart and began shutting doors to wounds, healing me and making me whole – with a caution, to not trust or let that person back in – to the place He purified and healed – but to just simply love them, expecting nothing in return or rather no love demonstrated back to me.
If any of this is stirring up your heart, please know I am praying for you and asking the Lord to guide you and set you free in this area of wounding. I know many of you have lost your voice from past hurts and have become a doormat on every front and the Lord wants to make you whole in this area. To let go of all expectations and receive His seal upon your heart. I pray you take some time and meditate on all I shared today, seeking the Lord to guide you in this journey of healing into the Promised Land.
Thank you all for joining me today – I pray this message was a blessing in some small way. I do have a prayer request for us to collectively pray for ROF Ministries, if you are led to do so. I know many of you all are mighty prayer warriors – and we need the Lord’s intervention for blessings to flow abundantly into ROF, I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you will join with me in prayer, knowing the Lord is capable to do way more than we hope for – thank You Lord!