Quite often we get a true sense of what it is like to be alone, plucked out of the World, drifting to and fro and separated to a higher degree from our lives and others and even ourselves at times. Lately, it seems just getting through the day requires much more effort on my part and I begin to question everything ~ especially myself.
I often feel as if I am walking around in a shell… Like I am here, but not here. Some people describe this as going through the motions. This sort of disconnect can at times seem a little daunting… You may wonder why you are here? Is God really in control, because I am not? And your heart can become somewhat numb in the process.
As we begin to “Let go and let God” and truly surrender fully to His will and way in our lives, it is quite normal for life to spin greatly out of control. This is a typical and normal process on the journey to Jesus called… Life. The Bible describes this sanctification process in great detail. Once we understand that we are not of the World, but only a being within it, we begin to hold loosely that or even those who still remain within it ~ I often describe this process of feeling much like a fish out of water experience. We have days we can barely breathe, we flounder all over the place and we wake up daily realizing ~ we are not our own. We start to understand the process a little better and yet, we try decide if we should fully give in to our Maker.
Can He be trusted is at the forefront of our minds? Will He catch me if I fall? To me, falling is a guarantee… And we often recall all the times we did fall, having no one to catch us and we replay those scenarios over in our minds. But this time it is different… This time our eyes begin to open and we realize we need Him way more than He needs us. Our focus changes from what we can do for Him to a peaceful rest in all that He has already done for us.
So it seems we are at a pivotal time in our walks, in that Jesus is by our sides ~ sending angels to uplift us so we dash not our foots against a stone. He fully is able to keep us from falling, but the truth is He doesn’t always. Sometimes He allows a falling, knowing that when we do… We fall right into Him. Skinned knees hurt, but in time they heal. And lessons are learned, wisdom is gained and we start to accept that hot stoves, burn fingers.
I often wonder if one day we will be able to see in truth, just all the ways He kept us on the straight and narrow path? Quite often right now, it seems harsh and cold and even lonely. But one day, when our eyes are fully open to His loving embrace ~ we will see Him just as He is ~ our Beloved.
It is my prayer that you keep going, just one more day ~ Because with each step you take, you are one more step closer to overcoming the World and just a little bit closer to Him.
You are not alone.
Every doubt, every heartache, every question ~ others have had or are having right now, me included.
But as we cling to that which is good… Jesus, Who is our help in times of trouble, He understands the breaking of a heart and the love in many waxing cold. And just in case you are not convinced… I love you too and if you are reading this, you are embraced by my prayers and love. You do matter to me and most importantly Jesus❤️ ~~~ Angela