An Opened Heart ~ Brother Grizz’s Testimony

?ARISE & SHINE~

Lord Jesus I want to start this testimony out with a thank you for all you have done. It is truly my hope that it will bless someone to look towards you and call upon your name .

My name given to me on this earth by my mom and Dad is Geoffrey Warren Neufeld. Everything is purposed, even my name here on this earth as my family was German background and is Canadian now.

Most people may start their testimony from the beginning and work their way to now.  Instead, I want to thank you Lord for leading me to now and work my way back to the beginning. Now is fresh in my mind – then will take some time to get through. I know you are here leading me. I know you are with all my brothers and sisters too.

I have many family members that I love greatly at c.o.t. and meeting more all the time in his will, his timing, his way. I will be spending as much time as I can with as many as I can, while there is time to do so. My walk is blessed more and more, with all the company he has set along the path, set before me. I pray for each of them everyday and am blessed to do so. I love because he loved me first. I sure do love my new c.o.t. family they sure do mean much to me. I thank you Abba Father, I thank you Jesus of Nazareth for each of them in my life and me in theirs it is a blessing for sure.
Today Lord I am at peace, you have given me much. I never had much in my life, but because of you I do. It is you that has filled my life with family with friends. It is you who raised me when I could not even stand. I lean on you for all understanding Jesus. If I lean anywhere else, I always failed in my ways. Today is a blessing as with every breath, I truly am free of all burdens in my life. I am overjoyed with love because the more I give out, the more I receive and it is a win win all around. I could never win at anything in my life before I met you. Today I see the World with a different mind set than ever before. I see many struggling on their walk with you, just as I did for a long time too. I know Lord Jesus that life is a gift, every breath is the breath of life. I am thankful to have many in my life because there was a time I was thankful to have no one in my life. But not today Lord Jesus of Nazareth, not today Abba Father. Today has been full of love as every moment I have rested in you, you prepared an awesome meal, it took many hours to eat it all, but I shared and was hungry for more. I thank you lord  for filling me with that blessing of giving and receiving. You Lord provided me with  a blessing of 104 brothers and sisters to share in that meal and as the meal continued through out the hours that went by, goodness flowed in and prayers went out so more goodness came. It was awesome and I thank you for that family you have provided here at home online and all over this Earth you placed others I have not met yet, but am looking forward to in your will, your timing, your way. I stayed up for many hours, so much goodness that time was irrelevant. My grandchildren were with me this morning and after they woke up that was a blessing to see there smiling faces. My wife also woke up smiling and my mother in law too – all a blessing. My step daughter stopped over and she took the grandchildren home after their long blessed visit. I see she also woke up smiling. I have a friend that has been in my life for a long while now and his name is Stephan. He has had 180 bones broken in his body through out his life and time spent with him always is good. He walks and is in good shape and I’m blessed to know him, thank you Lord Jesus.

This whole week I have gone through much. On my birthday I turned 47 on the 13 day of the 7 month. You took me through a spiritual battle that my life seemed to be at stake. Spiritually, the Devil took one more shot at me and lost. I will give more details on that dream in my COT profile and will title it “My strongest moment of weakness.” On the other side of that dream, I came out feeling free like a butterfly. It was awesome thank you lord Jesus of Nazareth. That morning, one of my neighbors children age six was playing on the road andI heard him stand in front of my house and yell as big as he could “I rebuke you satan” and it was a blessing. As the day went by I did not celebrate my birthday but others somewhat did as I received a couple happy birthdays and a card also a gift card from my step daughter. It was a blessing, as I forgot it was my birthday until my wife said “Happy birthday.” I spent most of the day listening to scripture and kept media player on in case Mike stopped in to speak. I also sat in chat room but did not say much as I wanted to stay close to you and I get much joy in sitting among the brethren and staying close to you. You have taught me spiritual is good, but for now we are in this World, not of it, so you taught me now to spend time with others too. Life is a gift that should be shared and well, share I will always do.

Looking at it now, I learned a lot from my grandchildren that I was teaching how to share. Of course, all lessons are purposed through you and Father, Lord Jesus of Nazareth I thank you for that day I received the greatest gift of all, as all of me was finally given up to you and you changed me much. I do believe you never let go of me, no not once did you ever let go. You brought me to a point that I can finally live without the sins of my life weighing me down, no soul ties either. I thank you Lord for helping me to put all that down and be free. I could never do it on my own and always it was you and Father working to raise me up.

Over the last year I have gone through many struggles, not by myself, Jesus Christ of Nazareth was always there. Sometimes I doubted, but he taught me one of those struggles was losing my step son at the young age of 34 when he died of cancer. He never told us he had cancer as he kept it hidden from us. He also kept his children hidden from us too. I got to finally meet them at the funeral. I miss him even, now I loved him greatly and told him often. Towards the end of his life and through out all his life, I wished I got to spend more time with him, but not often enough. I met him when he was 12 and his sister was 15. I myself was 26 then and I thank Jesus for the way family gathered around to help out with the funeral and very glad to have 2 more grandchildren in my life now. I have a total of 7 grandchildren and 1 I have not met yet from my own son. I know about him through my son Colten and was able to chat on Facebook one time with him for the span of about 1/2 an hour. I had not talked with him since he was four and a span of about 18 years went by before I was blessed with a small moment to do so. I will cherish that moment forever and hope one day I can have another opportunity to speak with him. I got to talk briefly with my son Kyle too that same day. His mom got involved and put a stop to it and I pray for Audrey, her husband Mark and their children, my children and all their family every night and I hope and pray they stay protected by my Lord Jesus always. During that small time on Facebook I also started a relationship with other family members I had not seen in 18 years or more. My sister, my mother, my brother, aunts and uncles. I think I lost them all again, when I posted a “Make marijuana legal” picture on there, but that is okay. I was still learning and still smoking Marijuana then. Today my Lord has blessed me from that curse and I no longer do. I also pray for my brothers, sisters, mother, cousins and family every night too. I wish them the very best in all things. I desire to meet them again one day, but do not feel bad about how stuff happened as I would not be here now where I am, close to Jesus, resting in him if I did not go through what I went through. Not by my own strength but by his. Some days I could not even lift my eyes, nor did I remember where up even was. But I know now and am blessed with every breath. Thank you Jesus of Nazareth. Thank you Abba Father. For a few years when my step daughter first had Grandchildren I was a crack addict and a drunk and lost my step daughter for awhile, but gained two grandchildren, as she left them on our door one day and did not return for six months. Even then I was praying for her and I still do every night. Her life and struggles are also purposed and I hope one day she will write a testimony too. I sure do love her and those children too. She now has 4 children and has asked Jesus into her life. Her children also know Jesus and I am blessed by all My Father has purposed. I pray for her every night and know that my Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth is doing great and mighty works for all he loves. She has a split family, as her oldest two now live with their Dad. I get to see them quite often and am blessed every time I do. Their dad is loved by me means much to me. I pray for him every night and am blessed to know him. Thank you Jesus of Nazareth, thank you Abba Father for keeping us all together, somehow you always found a way and I will always be grateful.

My wife and I met at the age of 26 when I moved from the East coast to the West coast. When I arrived I stayed at a motel and her family and herself were already living there. We were all drunkards back then, but some how my Lord found a way as he always does. Today I don’t drink alcohol or take any drugs at all, period. My wife is also blessed to be free of cocaine and alcohol. Thank you Jesus, even my mother in law quit alcohol over the years. Thank you Jesus, life is a blessing, a grand adventure that is worth living. The last 3 years living at that place was a struggle as many people that moved in there were stuck on drugs and being mistreated by all those around them. I was one of those people thinking I was better because I quit. instead of raising them up I stood guard for all those around me that were trying to live good. I stayed up almost every night watching, keeping an eye out and a couple times I slipped and got drunk. One night I got drunk and passed out and my neighbor was murdered. He lived next door to me and I did not hear the struggle. I had a dream about a struggle that night, but did not know why until I found him 3 days later when I crawled in through his back window and found him next to his bed. I felt bad for years and took it upon myself that it happened because I let my guard down. I know different now. Now I know all is purposed and I miss him and hope to see him again one day. I also found another friend of mine dead in that same apartment on the other side of that same bed about a year later. Him also I wish to see again. In that place Beladean Motel I found about 11 people dead in their units through out the years. All friends, all missed. As purposed as life is, I was blessed to know each of them for the small moment I got to. We lived there for about 18 years and when the place was being demolished by the city, everyone had to move. To this day the lot is still empty, except for one tall cedar tree and an apple tree standing guard waiting for life to return. I walk by there now and then, since we only moved 4 blocks away where I am now. My wife’s aunt bought us this place. We made payments over the years and now own the mobile home and it is a blessing living in this small community of 200 families. I am getting to know more of them as time goes by. This community is like a safe haven in the city, outside the property many need help. Every time I walk out of the community here, I pray for all I see. May My Lord’s will be done in all their lives. One day the lord lead me to touch each lamp pole all around the block and pray that the light that comes off each pole is his blessed light and all that stand under it get filled. I desire that prayer to stand as long as the poles do, knowing all is purposed and I’m blessed with my home and huge family.  Thank you Abba Father. Thank you Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Before that I lived on the East coast for 3 years. I moved out there as I met a friend here where I live in this city years earlier back in 1989. I moved there to catch up with him as I lost my family and all I had; wife, children – all I loved. He was the one friend I still had. I am blessed to be known of him too back then and I pray for him when I remember him, also. Tonight I will thank you Jesus for the time spent out East.

Before that I lived in Manitoba for a year or so and I lost much due to many burdens in my life. I was not a good person and carried many addictions, anger and hate. Much was wrong with my mindset. I had a family of my own with 2 children. Abba Father took care of them by getting me out of their lives and giving them a good dad to raise them. When I first lost them I moved to a small town where I grew up was still drinking, trying to hide it. I had been going to church and had pastors pray over me one night, laying on of hands as I sat in a chair they asked me questions and came up with 22 demons I had in me. I felt the Holy Spirit all around me and much was lifted that day but not all. I went home that night and struggled to move and saw a green frog with huge eyes sitting at the bottom of my bed. It was a demon and I called on Jesus and was able to wake from the dream. Back then I had sex dreams too and it was all messed up in my eyes but purposed too. Thank you Abba Father, thank you Jesus, you have always been there for all you love. I am blessed with the time I did have with my Pastors and Family then.

Before that I was a Dad myself at the age of 20 with 2 beautiful children. I got to watch them both come into the World and was there through my wife’s struggles. It was a blessing and a miracle to partake in our common law marriage which lasted 4 years and I’m grateful for each moment. Thank you Jesus, thank you Abba Father.

At the age of 18 I met my first born son and it was a blessing as I already stated above. I was living in Alberta at the time when I got the call that Audrey was pregnant. I did not know if I would see her again as I moved 3 provinces away. After I got the call, I worked hard and raised the money and sent it to her so we could be together. As I did not want any children of mine not growing up without their dad. Things went not as I planned but how he planned and it was a blessing. When she arrived I was in a full leg cast because I got hit by a car doing 54 mph and was still getting around pretty good with cast on. I had to feed my family so I got the doctor to cut the bottom of the cast off so I could go back to work. I would walk 1 mile with a cast to get to work 5 days a week.(quite often people would see me and offer a ride, blessed I was). in my life I have had broken ribs, broken bones, broken homes, broken dreams and all a blessing and I’m glad to partake in it. Thank you Abba Father, thank you Jesus Christ of Nazareth for without you I would not be where I am now.

Before that, I left home at the age of 15 and checked my self into foster care. I did not want to go back and my dad did not know why until many years later. My mother also knew why years later and apologized to me after she found Jesus. For years I could not forgive her but do now. I am blessed with the time I did have with her and all my family growing up. I keep them in my prayers and hope the very best for each of them. I desire to meet them again one day and all is forgiving and all is purposed. During those years I got into drugs and alcohol. I got cut open one night while I was a coward and trying to hide under my blanket in fear. The attackers left when the police arrived. I did not die that day but almost. All is forgiven, all is purposed.  I pray that the Lord’s will be done in their lives also, now and then. One day if they make it I will give them a hug and tell them I love them too.

During the time I was in foster care I was in and out of 24 different foster families. None wanted me as I was too hard to handle. I pray they are all well and hope one day too I can meet them again. I thank the Lord and Abba Father for all of it. Wow what a blessing to know that many families in such a short span, that had purpose too. Each family taught me a lot as the years went by. I took some of that goodness with me and I thank the Lord for each one of those families.

Before that I grew up never quite fitting in, never quite belonging anywhere. I asked Jesus into my life at age 11 when I was in the woods as I would sneak out of the cabin to pray. I thought I had to hide away from everyone to do so, but now I know he was always with me. Thank you Jesus, thank you Abba Father for sending your son. At that time, age 11, I was still wetting the bed at night as I lived most of my life in fear, especially at night. The Lord took that problem away one day and I am blessed for all Abba Father purposed. At the age of 11 I found out my dad was not my dad. My parents waited until I was old enough to choose if I wanted to be or not. They thought that was a good thing but it tore me in two to know I did not belong to him. To this day I still have no idea who my biological dad was but I do know my Father. Thank you Jesus, all is blessing now and purposed too.

From here back, I will just say life was rough growing up from 0 to 11 as I do love my Family even now and wish them all the best. I do pray for them and I have been hurt by them and hurt some of them too. I hope one day they can forgive me as I have forgiven them. I miss them all and desire to meet them all again one day. All is purposed and I love them still.

I had been sexually abused, physically abused and emotionally abused through those years and I also made many mistakes too. I also abused others. I hold nothing against anyone and do love them all. I know now the truth that –  in me and in them too it was not us but something else working and its evil and that something has lost and I am now free. I will say though I wanted to be a skunk as no one ever bothered a skunk. I was asked by my dad at 4 what I wanted to be that was my answer. My earliest memory came from my grandma telling me at 3 months old as she was babysitting me and I had back and blue all over my body except for my head. She said she held me close and cried over me for an hour or so. When she told me of that I remembered being held by light and I remembered love and it was a blessing. I know now that was the Holy Spirit in her loving me too. Yes even me too… woohoo woohoo thank you Abba Father, thank you Jesus of Nazareth the only Begotten Son of the living God.

Well there you have it folks – my testimony backwards, so you know its all truth. I thank my Father in Heaven. I have broke every commandment he had. I broke them all, he loved me even more. So much so, he sent his Son to save me and he surely did too. He is not done as he is still working in the lives of all those he loves. That’s right, he is working in your life too. Be blessed and know he is God. Trust in him as he will get you through even if you don’t know it yet. Life is a blessing and I’m glad to partake in it all. I stand here this day blessed, loved and highly favored. I know he has plans for all his children and any that call upon his name will not be forsaken. Just like he will never give up on you, I wont either.

God bless you all.
I do love you all. It is true, ask My lord Jesus Christ, He will tell you.

John 1 King James Version (KJV)

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

2 The same was in the beginning with God.

3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.

5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

Thank you Abba Father thank You Jesus Christ of Nazareth I could never of made it this far without You.
~Grizz, July 2018